I’ve never been a big fan of weasels. I went to school with a couple and I’ve worked with a few as well. Not my favourite animal. Imagine my delight to learn that one of them had flambéed itself within the inner workings of the Hadron Collider. Yes you remember the Hadron Collider – it was that big gizmo in Angels and Demons, the forerunner and sequel to The Da Vinci Code, novel and movie. You know those movies: Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, where Tom Hanks wanders around channelling Basil Exposition from Goldmember, telling his companion (and us) all those fascinating bits of information and weaving them into the story with all the dexterity of a three-toed sloth. And we’re supposed to suspend disbelief and accept that anyone as good-looking as her is going to hang out with a bloke as boring as that! Anyway the Hadron Collider is out in pursuit of “The God Particle”, as you would know, had you managed to stay awake during the movie. Also there’s a nasty guy in the Vatican (what?!) who’s a bit of a weasel himself, but I won’t spoil it for you, just in case you manage to stay awake during the movie.
Now The God Particle is more correctly known as the Higgs boson, named after the doughty Bosun Higgs, late of the good ship Venus, or possibly Jimmy Higgs who used to bowl leg spin for Victoria. Either that or Peter Higgs, Nobel Prize-winning physicist – I can never remember which.
The Hadron Collider is huge; it’s chock full of really important stuff like wires and knobs and levers – it’s all very technical and I’d love to explain it to you, but we don’t have time here. Anyway this multi-squantillion investment that went off searching for God, was taken out by an inquisitive weasel. So it would seem that the weasel has had more success in finding God than the Hadron Collider has to date and just goes to show that even the lowest weasel can find God if it persists and has the right attitude. It also demonstrates that God does have a sense of humour. It might be a bit droll at times, sometimes a little dark even, but it’s definitely there. How else do you explain the Kardashians? Or Donald Trump?